Infatuation, not love (yet)

Main text (draft)

Infatuation is a powerful state. It activates the same brain systems as addiction, which is why it can feel like you cannot live without them. But the markers you described point more to infatuation than to love: high passion and intensity, with lower closeness, lower stability, or high anxiety about losing them. Infatuation sometimes turns into love as you get to know someone. It sometimes does not. One reliable way to tell which is happening: love grows with knowledge of the real person. Infatuation often fades when the real person shows up.

What to do next

Try to spend more time with them in unglamorous contexts — sick days, errands, their family dinner. Notice whether your feelings hold up when they are not performing at their best. Also watch yourself: are you feeling love, or are you feeling the relief of finally not being alone? Those can look the same from the inside, and they lead to very different outcomes.