Mixed signals

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What you described is common and exhausting: they show up sometimes, then seem distant other times. They are warm when present, then invisible when not. The hard truth is that mixed signals are usually information, not a puzzle to solve. In most cases people who give mixed signals are doing one of three things: they are unsure and cannot tell you yet, they are interested but not enough, or they are keeping options open while they see what else comes up. None of these three are inherently bad, but all three mean that if you want clarity, you will have to ask for it. It will not land on its own.

What to do next

Stop trying to read their behavior. Ask them directly what they want, in a calm moment and in a low-stakes way. If they cannot give you a clear answer, believe the ambiguity. You do not have to make a decision today, but do not invest more energy as if you had clarity you do not have.