Yellow flag (you)

What this means

Most people land somewhere around here, and that is worth saying clearly first: a score in this range does not make you a bad partner or a bad person. It makes you human. What you described includes patterns that are extremely common — defensiveness when you feel criticized, withdrawing under stress, the occasional small dishonesty to avoid a fight, jealousy that you sometimes hand to your partner to carry, or a hard time staying accountable when you have messed up. Almost everyone recognizes themselves in at least one of these.

But common is not the same as harmless, and the honest part of this result is that these patterns do have a cost. Over time they wear on the person across from you, even when you do not intend them to. The good news buried in that is important: these are learned patterns, not fixed features of who you are. Most have roots in early experiences — how conflict was handled in your family, what you learned you had to do to stay safe or loved. You came by them honestly, and what was learned can be unlearned.

Here is the part most people get wrong about change. Recognizing a pattern once, like you just did, feels like progress — and it is a real first step — but insight alone does not change behavior. The shift happens in the live moment: the second you feel the defensiveness rise, the urge to withdraw, the jealous spike, and you pause and make a slightly different choice. Not a perfect choice. Just a different one, again the next time. That repetition, not a single realization, is what actually rewires a pattern.

So treat this result as encouraging rather than damning. You are someone with normal, workable human patterns and enough self-awareness to look at them directly — and that combination is exactly what change is built from. The work is real, but it is the ordinary, doable kind, and the fact that you are here, looking honestly, means you have already started.

What to do next

Resist the urge to overhaul everything at once — that almost never sticks. Instead, pick the ONE pattern from the quiz that scored highest, the one you know is costing you the most, and make only that your focus.

For the next two weeks, do not try to fix it. Just notice it. Catch the moment the defensiveness rises, the moment you start to withdraw, the moment the jealousy spikes. You do not have to do anything differently yet — awareness genuinely has to come before change, and most people skip this step and wonder why nothing moves. Simply observing the pattern, without judging yourself for it, starts to loosen its automatic grip.

Then, once you can see it coming, try one different response in one low-stakes moment. Stay in the conversation instead of leaving the room. Say the honest thing instead of the smoothing-over thing. One small, deliberate choice. That is how this actually moves — not in a single leap, but in repeated, ordinary moments. If you want support noticing your patterns and thinking them through as they come up, Lovon can walk alongside you while you practice.