Highly likely narcissistic abuse

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[SAFETY RESOURCES BLOCK AT TOP — Before any other content]

What you described across multiple dimensions — reality distortion, severe isolation, love-bombing and devaluation cycles, zero accountability, financial or physical threats, damage to your sense of self, a long trail of former close people they have cut off — is consistent with what clinicians describe as severe narcissistic abuse. Whether or not your partner would formally meet criteria for NPD is less important than what is happening in your life right now.

The hardest part of recovering from a relationship like this is that you have spent a long time being told that your perception is wrong. You are likely doubting this result right now, the way you have been trained to doubt your own memory, your own feelings, your own sense that something is off. That self-doubt is part of the pattern. The fact that you found this quiz, that you answered honestly, that you are reading this: those are signals from a self that is still there.

What to do next

Please talk to someone who specializes in this. Not everyone understands narcissistic abuse, and well-meaning support people sometimes make it worse ('have you tried couples therapy?'). Search for therapists with specific experience in narcissistic abuse recovery, or contact a DV hotline (which does handle emotional/narcissistic abuse, not only physical). Plan carefully. Protect your finances, documents, and digital access. You do not have to decide anything today, but do start telling the truth to someone you trust.