Struggling

Main text (draft)

You described a relationship with real strain across several dimensions — maybe some fights that do not repair, some areas where you feel unseen or unsupported, some sense of yourself getting smaller. This is the kind of relationship that most often either shifts meaningfully with real work, or slowly calcifies into distance while both people pretend it is fine. The fact that you are here, looking, is a signal you are not pretending. That matters. Strain is not the same as failure. Most long-term relationships have at least one period that looks like this.

What to do next

This is where couples therapy is most effective — relationships that are struggling but not collapsed, with two people still invested enough to look honestly. Gottman-trained, EFT, or PACT therapists are strong options. If your partner is unwilling to go, individual therapy for you is still worth doing. Either way, stop waiting for it to resolve itself. This is the moment when direction is set.