Unsafe or abusive
Main text (draft)
[SAFETY RESOURCES SHOWN AT TOP]
What you described — having to shrink to stay, fear of being your full self, no real repair after conflict, low respect — is in the territory of relationships that are actively harming people. Not every low score means abuse, and I cannot tell from a quiz what your exact situation is. But the pattern you described is one that tends to get worse, not better, without significant intervention.
If there is physical violence, sexual coercion, financial control, or threats, please see the Red Flag Partner quiz for specific resources and safety planning. If what is happening is emotional — chronic contempt, constant criticism, making you feel like you are the problem for having needs — that is still abuse, and it does damage too. You deserve support in looking at this clearly.
What to do next
Talk to someone outside the relationship. A therapist, a DV advocate, a trusted friend who will not push you to make a decision. Many people stay in unhealthy-moving-toward-abusive relationships for years because naming it out loud makes it real. The naming is the start of the path out, whether that path is working on it or leaving.
This quiz is for self-reflection and educational purposes. It is not a diagnosis, clinical instrument, or replacement for professional care. If any of this raises concerns, consider talking to a licensed therapist.
Want to talk this through?
Sometimes naming what you're seeing out loud with a trained therapist is the difference between staying stuck and moving forward.