Is My Marriage Over? Quiz: Should I Get a Divorce?

Answer each question for how your marriage has been over the past few months, not for your best day or your worst one. Every question has four answers, from the calmest to the heaviest, and some are listed in reverse so you read them rather than tick the same column. Go with the first answer that feels true. If you are torn between two, the less flattering one is usually closer.

You get one of four results: strained but far from over, at a crossroads, in serious trouble, or running on empty. Each one explains what your answers mean, what they do not mean, and what to do next, including words you can use with your spouse and how to choose between counseling, discernment counseling and other options.

Search for signs your marriage is over and you will find lists of twenty or thirty. Most of them come down to a handful of patterns that couples researchers and counselors keep returning to.

Contempt is the first. Every marriage has anger. Contempt is different: mocking, eye-rolling, disgust, talking down. John Gottman's research with married couples found it to be one of the strongest predictors of divorce, so this quiz asks about it twice, once about how you argue and once about how you think of your spouse when they are not around.

Repair is the second. What matters is not whether you fight, but whether a joke, a touch or an apology afterward still works. Then come effort, whether both of you are still trying or one has checked out; trust and physical closeness; resentment that keeps piling up; and whether you still plan a future together.

The last two questions are often the most honest ones. One asks why you are still in the marriage. The other asks what you would feel first if your spouse calmly suggested separating. Grief usually means there is something left to fight for. Relief usually means the emotional part of leaving has already begun.

This quiz does not ask about violence, threats or control. Those are a safety question, not a compatibility question, and no score should weigh them against good days. If you are afraid of your spouse, read the FAQ on that below before anything else.

The should I break up quiz is written for dating relationships and asks how settled your doubt has become. The is my relationship healthy quiz is a broader check-in on how a relationship is working, safety included. The marriage compatibility test looks at whether your values and plans fit, which is useful before marriage or when you suspect you have grown apart. This quiz is for when you are already married and the question in your head is whether it can still work.

Your result is a mirror for your own answers, not a verdict. It cannot see your history, your children, or what your spouse feels and would be willing to do. Use it to name what is going on, then talk about it with your spouse, a counselor or someone you trust.

If you want to work on the marriage, the guide on how to save your marriage covers what tends to help and in what order. If you have already decided, the guide on how to tell your spouse you want a divorce helps you do it with care. Feelings move, so taking the quiz again in a few weeks, on a calm day, often tells you whether a result is steady.

If you want to talk it through out loud first, Lovon, an AI relationship coach you talk to by voice, listens at any hour and will not push you to stay or to leave. It is support, not therapy.