Should I Get Back With My Ex? An Honest 14-Question Quiz

Most advice about getting back with an ex comes down to one question: would this be the same relationship again? The quiz breaks that into parts. Why it ended, and whether that core problem has actually changed, judged by evidence in ordinary weeks rather than promises. How many times you have broken up before. What each of you has done about your own part since. What you miss when you miss them: the person, the relationship, or simply not being alone. How you feel after time with them, and how much you act like yourself around them. Trust and respect. What the friends who know you best think, and why. Whether your ex wants this too. Your gut when you picture six months from now. And how everyday life has felt since the breakup, under the sadness.

Every answer adds points for reasons to be careful. A low score means your answers make a real case for a second try. A high score means they make a case against it.

The strongest sign is change you can see. A promise to communicate better is not the same as watching them come back to a hard conversation the next morning instead of going silent for a week. Other good signs: the breakup was mostly about circumstances like distance or timing, both of you can name your own part without being pushed, you trust what they tell you, you feel steady and like yourself around them, they clearly want this too, and the people who know you best are cautious at worst. When most of these are true, a slow, careful second try is a reasonable choice.

The clearest warning sign is that nothing has really changed and the plan is to try harder. Others: you have broken up and gotten back together several times already, you miss the relationship or being with someone more than the person, you hold back your opinions or needs around them, you keep checking whether they are telling the truth, disagreements turned to contempt, your friends are worried and can say exactly why, or you are the only one who wants it. One more is easy to miss: under the sadness, life has felt calmer since it ended. Any one of these deserves a hard look. Several together usually mean the answer is no, or not yet.

Getting back together is common. In a study of 792 young adults, Sarah Halpern-Meekin and colleagues (2013) found that nearly half had broken up and then reunited with a partner. Reuniting is not the same as being happy together, though. In two studies, René Dailey and colleagues (2009) found that partners in on-again, off-again relationships reported fewer positives and more negatives, such as communication problems and uncertainty, than partners who had never split, and that more renewals went with more negatives. The pattern does not stop at dating, either. In a nationally representative sample, Amber Vennum and colleagues (2014) found that over a third of cohabiting couples and a fifth of married couples had broken up and renewed, and those who had were at greater risk of cycling again, less certain about the future and less satisfied.

Friends matter too. Following dating couples and their friends over time, Christopher Agnew and colleagues (2001) found that friends saw the relationship more negatively than the couple did, and that their views helped predict which couples later broke up. That is why this quiz asks what your friends think, and why they think it.

This quiz asks whether you should go back. The will my ex come back quiz reads your ex's signals instead, and the does my ex still love me quiz looks at whether they still have feelings for you. Neither tells you whether going back is good for you, which is what this one is for. If you cannot tell whether you miss them or just miss having someone, start with the do I miss my ex or am I just lonely quiz. To see how far you have come in moving on, try the am I over my ex quiz. And if cheating is what ended it, the should I forgive cheating quiz goes deeper on that one question.

If you would rather read: why do I miss my ex explains why the pull can be so strong even when you know it was not working, and do exes come back covers how often reunions happen and how to tell a real return from a lonely check-in. If you decide to try again, how to get your ex back is about reaching out honestly, without games. If you need time to decide, the no contact rule guide explains how to use space for your own clarity rather than as a tactic.

There are four results: worth a careful second try, maybe with clear conditions, not yet, and your answers say don't go back. Each one explains what your answers mean, what would need to be true for going back to work, what to say in the first honest conversation if your ex reaches out or you want to, and how to move on if the answer is no.

Answer for how things are now, not how they were on the best day or how you hope they will be. If an answer falls between two options, pick the more cautious one. And read your total alongside your single answers: if your ex does not want this, or you feel smaller around them, that one answer counts for more than any score.

If you want to talk through what you found, or rehearse what you would say, Lovon is an AI relationship coach you talk to by voice. It is support, not therapy.