Low on this pattern

What this means

Your answers sit at the low end of this scale. Across the three parts it covers, nothing is running high: criticism does not tend to lodge in you for days, you are not carrying a private ledger of being underrated, and when someone upsets you it is more likely to come out as words than as a drop in temperature.

It is worth being clear about what a low score is and is not. This is a self-report scale, so it measures what you notice about yourself. The parts of this pattern that are hardest to see from the inside are exactly the ones people tend to score low on: the quiet comparison, the moment of going cool, the reply that gets a little shorter for no stated reason. If someone close to you has told you that you go silent when you are hurt, that observation is information too, and it does not lose an argument with a number on a website.

The other thing a low total can hide is one part running higher than the rest. Someone can be completely comfortable with feedback, entirely uninterested in comparison, and still handle hurt by going quiet for two days. Look at which items you answered highest rather than at the total alone. The three parts come apart from each other, and the highest one is the one worth attention even inside a low score.

There is also a difference between not having this pattern and having already worked on it. Plenty of people who would have scored much higher a few years ago score low now because they learned to say the thing instead of withdrawing. If that is you, the number reflects a skill you built rather than a temperament you were issued, and skills fade when they stop being used.

What to do next

Take the single item you answered highest and treat it as the actual result. That is more useful than the total.

If it sat in the withdrawal part, the practical move is a rule rather than an intention: when something someone did still bothers you an hour later, say it in one plain sentence instead of letting the temperature drop. Going quiet is the part of this pattern that does the most damage to the people nearby, and it is also the most changeable, because it is a behaviour rather than a feeling.

If you came here worried about someone else rather than yourself, this scale is pointed the wrong way for that, and the am I dating a narcissist quiz is the one that looks outward.

Lovon is a place to think through the moments where you noticed yourself pulling back, if you want to work out what happened before the next one arrives.