Red flags, by the numbers
Most red-flag lists are written by someone looking at other people. These numbers come from the other side: people answering, anonymously, about what they have done themselves and what they have seen in a partner.
Every chart below is counted from answers to three Lovon quizzes, Am I a Red Flag?, Are They a Red Flag? and Am I the Problem?, and updated every other day. Nobody is identified, and no one is counted by name, device or account.
Am I a Red Flag? What 100,000+ answers show
- 59%
have done at least one of these: checked a partner's phone, tracked their location, read their messages, made an account to look at someone.
- 46%
go quiet first when a partner hurts them. It is the most common first reaction, ahead of saying it right away.
- 22%
have never been called any of the eight words on the list. The one people hear most: “too much”.
- 32% Green flag (you)
- 35% Yellow flag (you)
- 33% Red flag (you)
“How often do your friends hear the worst version of them?”
Share who got “Green flag (you)”, by answer:
- Never — I keep it between us39%
- Sometimes, when it's bad24%
- Often — they've picked a side0%
- Everyone24%
“I can say sorry first, even when I still think I'm right.”
- Agree53%
- Partly agree30%
- Disagree17%
“How often do your friends hear the worst version of them?”
- Never — I keep it between us30%
- Sometimes, when it's bad49%
- Often — they've picked a side16%
- It's the only version they've got4%
“Has a partner ever agreed to something just to keep you calm?”
- 18–25: 88%
- 26–34: 8%
- 35+: 4%
Are They a Red Flag? What 4,000+ answers show
- 50% Green flag partner
- 35% Yellow flag partner
- 15% Red flag partner
- 18–25: 73%
- 26–34: 14%
- 35+: 13%
Am I the Problem? What 3,000+ answers show
- 35% You are not the problem
- 55% You have some growth zones
- 7% You are hurting them more than you see
- 3% You are the main source of harm here
- 18–25: 54%
- 26–34: 18%
- 35+: 28%
How these numbers are counted
Every answer is counted anonymously: each run of a quiz gets a random number that is never linked to a person, a device or an account, and questions about safety are not counted at all. Result shares cover everyone who finished a quiz since July 2026; answer patterns start in November 2026. Numbers update every other day. Shares below 100 people are rounded to the nearest 5%, and groups by age or gender are compared only when each is large enough and the gap is clear. The people here chose to take a relationship quiz, so read the numbers as what they say, not as a survey of everyone. How our quizzes work
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