The Fixer

How you cope with stress

You cope by doing. When stress hits, you make a plan, break the problem into steps and get to work. Feeling in control calms you, and crossing something off a list is one of your fastest routes to relief. Researchers call this problem-focused coping: dealing with the cause of the stress directly.

What this does well

When a problem can be solved, this is often the most useful way to cope. You tend to deal with things early instead of letting them grow, and other people often rely on you in a crisis.

Where it backfires

Not every stressor can be fixed. A loss, an illness or someone else's choices do not respond to a plan, and trying harder can leave you exhausted and frustrated. Fixers also tend to skip the feeling part, so the stress can show up later as tension, poor sleep or snapping at people. And doing everything yourself is a fast route to burnout.

How to cope better as a Fixer

Before you start fixing, ask one question: can this actually be changed? If yes, pick the one most useful step and do that, rather than ten at once. If no, switch tools. Give yourself a few minutes to name what you feel, and let that be the task. How to process emotions walks through it.

Build an end into your day so the fixing stops. Write tomorrow's three tasks, close the laptop and say "done for today." Then rest on purpose. How to rest covers how to switch off when your mind keeps working.

Let someone help. Handing off one task this week is a stress skill too.

Try next

The brain dump helps you sort what to do, schedule and let go, so you stop carrying it all in your head. The burnout test is worth taking if you have been running on adrenaline for a while.