Others' pain hits you in the body

What this means

Of the three parts this test scores, flooding stands out in your answers. When someone in front of you is hurting, it hits your body, not just your thoughts: a tight throat, a sick stomach, tears that arrive before you have decided anything. You flinch when someone else gets hurt. You stop films and switch off the news when another person's pain on screen gets too much to sit through. Staying calm enough to listen to a friend who is crying is harder for you than it looks from outside.

What your answers describe is a fast, physical response to other people's distress. Many models of empathy separate concern for someone, which turns toward them, from distress at their distress, which turns inward. Flooding is mostly the second, and it can make it hard to help even when you want to.

Why it gets in the way

The irony of flooding is that it can reduce what you are able to give. If watching a friend cry sends your own body into alarm, you may need to calm yourself before you can do anything for them, and sometimes the calming takes the form of changing the subject, offering a quick fix or leaving the room. From the outside that can look like the opposite of empathy.

It can also shrink your world. Avoiding hard films, certain news and hospitals is a reasonable short-term response. Over time it can mean avoiding people at exactly the moments they need you most.

What this is not

It is not a sign that something is wrong with you, and it is not the same as catching other people's moods in general. Catching a mood, cheerful or tense, from the people around you is emotional contagion, and the emotional contagion test looks at that. Flooding is specific to pain, and it is strong.

What to do next

Practice staying in the room for one more minute. When you notice your body reacting to someone else's distress, put your attention on your feet or your breath for a few seconds, then bring it back to them. You are not trying to feel less. You are trying to stay long enough to be useful.

Then use a simple phrase that buys you time: "I'm here. Tell me what happened." It keeps you with them while your body settles.

If the physical reactions are strong and frequent, or they have started to affect your sleep or work, it is worth mentioning to a doctor. And if you want to talk through a moment that flooded you, Lovon is somewhere to do that afterwards.