There is nothing to rebuild on yet

What this means

There is not much here to build on right now, and it is worth saying that plainly rather than dressing it up. From what you described: the truth arrived only under pressure and keeps being revised, contact with the other person either never ended or ended in a way you cannot verify, the questions you ask get turned back on you, and the person who is supposed to be repairing this is mostly managing how upset you are about it. Meanwhile you are the one doing all of the work — carrying the 2am images alone, keeping the house calm, apologizing at the end of conversations you did not start.

Rebuilding after infidelity is possible, but it requires raw materials: a stable account, ended contact, and a partner who does the heavy lifting rather than handing it to you. What you have described does not have them yet.

What this is not

This is not a verdict on your relationship and it is not a claim about what your partner is or is not doing behind your back. Twelve questions cannot know that, and neither can anyone else on the internet. It is a description of what you reported, and what you reported is that the conditions are absent.

It is also not permission to leave, and it is not an instruction to stay. This is a mirror, not a ruling. People stay for reasons that are entirely real — children, money, immigration status, love that has not switched off just because it should have — and staying does not make you naive. Knowing exactly what you are standing in is worth having either way.

What to do this week

Get one thing verified outside the conversation. Not surveillance, and not a confrontation. One concrete fact you can hold: an account balance, a timeline, whether the trip happened. Being told you are imagining things for months does real damage to a person's grip on reality, and one solid fact is worth more than another six hours of talking.

Say the sentence you have been editing. Try: "I am not accusing you. I am telling you that I do not believe I have the whole story, and I cannot rebuild anything on top of a story I do not believe." Watch what comes back. The response to that sentence tends to be more informative than any answer to any question you have asked so far.

Tell one person. Not for advice — for a witness. Isolation is what makes this survivable long past the point it should be, and one friend who knows the real version changes the arithmetic. And when it gets loud in your body at 2am, a few minutes with a grounding exercise will not fix anything, but it can get you back down enough to sleep, which is not nothing right now.

If you are afraid of how they will react

If what stops you from asking is not that they will be hurt but what they might actually do, that is a different situation than the one this quiz is about, and it takes priority over any question of forgiveness. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is 1-800-799-7233, you can text START to 88788, and thehotline.org runs a chat line and has guidance on leaving safely. You do not need to have decided anything to call them, and calling them is not a decision.